Projection, projection, projection!

I've been very fortunate. I've had a long career with many incredible opportunities, and I've worked with awesome people. I've transitioned between roles after big releases, usually finding my next opportunity with support from my manager.

I've also had to run screaming from the room. Literally. I've been assaulted in broad daylight in front of 100s of my peers. And I've been bullied to the point of not recognizing myself.

Part 1 - Screaming!

The time I had to run screaming from the room was when I took a new role in a sister team. It seemed like a great move - I tangentially knew lots of people there, and it was in a technical area I was very excited about. Almost from the beginning, it was a bait and switch. During the interview phase I was working out my role with my manager. There was some question about having a separate architecture team, but I made it clear I was not interested in the role if it didn't include architecture. But then after I took the role, every other day my manager talked about moving architecture away from me.

So. One of the architects took issue with me before even meeting with me. He was openly hostile in our early meetings. I expressed concerns to my manager. He also "expressed concerns" to her in the form of telling her that I am not qualified to be his manager. And one of my peers was side channeling pulling architecture away from me. Fun. Also, my manager did not stand up for me.

Meanwhile, Mr. Meany Pants was mistreating his teammates. He was openly hostile to them too, throwing little temper tantrums. Everyone said this is normal. Not for me!!

Ok. So as his manager, it was my job to give him feedback on this behavior. When I did so, he became very angry, and started accusing me of bullying him. Classic projection. I felt the conversation was not productive, so I thought things should cool off a bit. I stood to leave, and he also stood and blocked my exit from my office. He put his hand on the door, and refused to get out of my way. "Are you threatening me? You're a bully!" Projection, projection, projection!

It was scary. He's got about half a foot and 100 pounds on me. He pretty clearly would have hurt me if he thought he could get away with it. He finally left, and well….

Remember my manager who didn't stand up for me when this guy said I wasn't qualified? She also refused to take action when he was physically threatening me. He suffered no consequences whatsoever. She actually moved him to report to the peer who was trying to sabotage and curtail my role.

So yeah, I was done with that, and I've never regretted leaving for a second.

By anonymous